Talk about it, talk about it

I don’t understand why someone would try to act as if my compliments and statements about them [which are positive] are not true. It’s my opinion, and there is obviously a reason for me saying it. Instead of telling me not to say that stuff anymore, why not just take the compliment and let it be? Appreciate the fact that someone out there values you and is telling you just how much they do instead of shooting them down and making them…me…feel like crap.

The modest ‘Noo I’m not’ I understand, but the flat out ‘Please stop saying that’ I really don’t. I’ve realized myself that when I answer modestly towards people when they give me a compliment, they can easily get annoyed so I’ve been trying to just thank them. It’s their opinion and it’s a positive thing about myself so why not?

Anyway I just wanted to say that I gave someone a very nice and praising compliment because they are totally worth it to me, they helped my improve myself, my thoughts, my actions, my words, as well as my relationships in my life, be it with a lover, friend, family, or acquaintance. And I was told to stop…
Great, now I get to keep more stuff to myself and watch out for other people’s reactions.

It’s not easy

When I first heard “If you risk nothing, you gain nothing, you are nothing” I thought it was actually quite true, and it made a lot of sense…but now that I look back onto it I have thought now that differs from what I thought before.

The quote is true to an extent, but life isn’t all about risk. You go to school, go to college, get a degree, and be the occupation you want to be, and surly you are something. You help out, volunteer, work underpaid, and you still gain recognition. No matter what you do, you will gain your 5 minutes of fame, whether it’s with a group, or you individually. Who knows, maybe you’ll get your fame twice, or for the rest of your life. But that doesn’t mean you have to risk anything, and risk can be bad.

I thought about the quote and it occurred to me that perhaps risk isn’t the best thing to do. What is you ran in front of a bullet for a friend*? Why, you gain a title of a great person and a great friend, a hero, but take a look at your situation…you risked your life, you are hanging by a withering thread between life and death. Was that risk worth it? Worth your hard work and dedication to the people around you and yourself?

So I think little risks are fine, it’s the big ones that will get you.

* I wanted to make a footnote of this…act. People everywhere say that they would jump in front of a bullet for a friend, but when that time comes…do you really think they would do it? It’s a hard decision, indeed, but think about it. In all honesty, I wish I would have the guts to say that I would do it, but I don’t…and I know I wouldn’t. But so many things revolve around it, ‘How good is this friend?’, ‘How is my life?’, ‘Do I want to throw my succession all away?’, ‘What did my friend do to deserve this?’, ‘Do I deserve this?’. It’s a hard decision, and actually, I’d like to quote a person who is very close to me, it’s along the lines of :
“It’s easy to say you’ll take a bullet for a friend, but the hard part is finding a friend worth doing it for.”

Wake up sleepy head

Man, Monday was such a waste of a day, I slept till 3 pm, and then decided to sleep 2 hours later only to wake up at 9 pm. I pretty much just slept the WHOLE. DAY. But it was interesting because I then stayed up the next day…and more. I was awake for…30 hours!! Woooo new record! Then I slept for a niceeee 13 hours <3.
Bf and I totally had a guitar jam session…even though he owns me at guitar haha. He was definitely falling for the electric guitar though…YES IT DOES ROCK. Pretty much all I did yesterday…during my whole 30 hours was:

• Watch vids on Youtube
• Chill with the BF
• BRAWL
• Play guitar

Mmm, and that’s all. Yeah I didn’t even eat! Okay…maybe twice…in the whole 30 hours…YES I KNOW that’s bad. But I wasn’t hungryyy.

That sleep was great, but I kept wanting to sleep more after I woke up. Haha! I swear, while I was playing brawl at about…1 am, I was falling asleep while playing. It was some funny stuff, eyes would not stay open, I was like, squinting while playing.

I’m am also currently trying to learn to play My Soldier by AJ Raphael on the guitar, and slowly I hope I’ll be able to sing to it

Anyway, I’m off to go relax a bit more.

Open your eyes and see what’s actually there

Man, life really likes to take you by the balls and fling you 8 millions miles into the sea doesn’t it?

I fear death because I don’t know what’s going to happen.
I fear the future because I don’t know if I’ll be successful or poor.
I fear anger because we act upon impulse.
I fear ghosts because who knows if they are really there or not.
I fear darkness because so much myth revolves around…or in, rather, the shadows.

I pretty much fear the unknown…but there is one thing that is inevitable and known throughout the world that I fear, and it’s Love.

I fear love because I know at one point, or more, during it’s course, I will get hurt.

Whenever we get hurt by someone we hold so dear to our hearts, we feel the need to get revenge. We feel broken and smashed into pieces that we, as humans, want to smash them down too. But I always wonder…if that is the way to do it? The way to really deal with hurt, pain, and anger. No, I don’t think it is, because you will always get hurt, you will always get pushed around and stepped on, but making that person feel the same way makes you just as bad.

So…
“Say your ‘I love you.’s and ‘I’m sorry.’s today because tomorrow is never promised.”
…And mean it.

Stop and Stare…AT THIS BREAK!

SPRING BREAK!
Need I say more?
Oh gosh, what a wonderful day it is, all you’ll see on me are smiles! School was easy as pie, watched Bee Movie…I like it No lacrosse practice, first day of SPRING BREAK, and I am proud to say that John and I have been dating for 9 months <3.

Oh what to do, what to do this long…actually, quite short time I have to relax…hmm…

I KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO…but I don’t know if I want to do it haha.

• Run
• Stay in shape
• Practice Lax
• Homework
• Study up for Math test
• Clean room

Ehh…Here’s what I WANT to do! And I’m pretty sure I will.

• Eat
• Sleep
• Hang out
• Paintball
• Buy clothes
• Watch movies
• Go camping
• Stay up late
• Wake up late

Spring break is gorgeous

It’s been an great amazing 9 months.