Pick the Brain // Ms. Darkky Chapter

I will hunt you down

MsDarkky — Fri, 25 Apr 2008 04:14:37 +0000

We played Carver on Tuesday, in Lax, and I ran pretty well. They were getting really pissed off at us…but that’s their problem, whatever. Lauren ran halfway up the field! It was very amusing and I wished she could have gone all the way, but coach would have definitely gotten furious. We won 6-2.
Today we played against Patapsco and I was VERY eager to win. We improved sooo much. Coach put me on defense because of my ankle, but let me go for the goal whenever I got the ball…except the players still spotted me as the best player and always triple teamed me so I had to pass every time…except for once. There was 20 seconds left on the clock and I had yet to score a goal! I pretty much told Radhika “Can I go score a goal?” and the lovely reply of “Sure go ahead” was heard So I hauled some ass, fought for the ball, and scored with 1 second on the clock, so right after I scored the game was over! I brought our goal count for that game to 10 and we won 10-5!! It was such an improvement!

Wooohooo Pizza party!

If I should die before I wake

MsDarkky — Fri, 18 Apr 2008 00:12:44 +0000

I sprained my ankle…great.
Just when my crucial lacrosse games begin, a girl kicks my foot while we fight for a ground ball and it twists inwards as I fall forwards. All I heard at that moment was ‘CRACKK’ and ‘SHITSHITSHIT’ running through my head. Shit is right, I sprained my ankle, and it hurt so bad.
This was just the other day, and it was during the Patapsco game, before the first half was even over…UGH. We lost, but the team improved a lot.

We played Kenwood today, I of course did not participate, except where I was yelling and screaming at the sidelines haha. It was a close game, 6-9 lost again, but at least the team improved drastically, no doubt.

When my ankle gets better, we shall DOMINATE THEM.

And! Our Carver game next week is going to be sooo fun, I’m going to take Lauren’s place as goalie, and she is going to be middie…AFTER she scores a goal in her goalie padding haha. Then it’s my turn

Talk about it, talk about it

MsDarkky — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 03:46:40 +0000

I don’t understand why someone would try to act as if my compliments and statements about them [which are positive] are not true. It’s my opinion, and there is obviously a reason for me saying it. Instead of telling me not to say that stuff anymore, why not just take the compliment and let it be? Appreciate the fact that someone out there values you and is telling you just how much they do instead of shooting them down and making them…me…feel like crap.

The modest ‘Noo I’m not’ I understand, but the flat out ‘Please stop saying that’ I really don’t. I’ve realized myself that when I answer modestly towards people when they give me a compliment, they can easily get annoyed so I’ve been trying to just thank them. It’s their opinion and it’s a positive thing about myself so why not?

Anyway I just wanted to say that I gave someone a very nice and praising compliment because they are totally worth it to me, they helped my improve myself, my thoughts, my actions, my words, as well as my relationships in my life, be it with a lover, friend, family, or acquaintance. And I was told to stop…
Great, now I get to keep more stuff to myself and watch out for other people’s reactions.

Live, Love, LAX

MsDarkky — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 04:20:44 +0000

I have some catching up to do with my Lax info!

Tuesday we had a game against Carver. I have to admit, they got better since last year. We won the game though, 10-0. Martinez [the coach] didn’t see one of the goals scored, which was by me, and just gave it to someone else! Waa ): But anyway, I made 4, just like the last game. I wasn’t feeling too aggressive that day so I didn’t go for the ball that much. The ground balls were HORRIBLE. Really really bad! For one thing, our team wasn’t doing too great, two – Carver was doing soo many illegal checks, three – the refs weren’t calling any of it! I hate bad refs, really.

Thursday we played Kenwood…and it was such a dangerous game. The checks were all over the place! We lost 10-6 :/ I scored those 6. It was quite silly…one play I ran the WRONG way until I finally realized people were yelling my name, I looked up and I saw Lauren (our goalie) and I was like…”OMG WOOPS!” so I turned around and hustled my little butt down the field and I scored! I fell soo many times and I was hit in the hand…Kenwood is too rough, it’s so bad. If we had good refs, there would be yellow cards flying everywhere on them. I really hate the fact that we keep getting bad refs.

Today we played Patapsco…and it just doesn’t seem like my team is very consistent. I gain the lead, and then we start losing by alot. Then win some more, and lose some more. Until we end up losing. We lost 11-13…it was SOOO CLOSE! I scored 6 I believe. One of my shots actually hit the goalie, but something happened…perhaps she spazzed and the ball went into the goal, counted for me! I trying really hard to help the team win, but I can’t do it all by myself. I’m actually really happy this game that a variety of people scored. Lauren is getting frustrated with herself and she really doesn’t enjoy being the goalie…I didn’t think she should have been in the first place. Not much I can do.

I’m getting tripped in every game and it’s getting annoying :/ I’m also very sore.
I’ll try posting more on time ><

I guess you can call it an all nighter

MsDarkky — Sun, 30 Mar 2008 09:37:25 +0000

As we ~~speak~~ I type this, David, Hubert, and John are playing Dota, Eric and Michelle are sleeping, Connie, her mom, and her sister are in the basement sleeping, and my mom is asleep upstairs…and here I am, typing and rambling.
DotA is such an addicting game, I was introduced to it on friday, and we pretty much did nothing else. We all hung out at David’s place and played DotA for 7 hours straight snacking on taquitos, mountain dew, and cookies — until 4 am.
LOW AND BEHOLD, here we are again, but this time in my house playing DotA, but this time, it is 5:30 am. Lovely how I had work all day and I have a badminton tournament in…1 and a half hours…I’m insane I swear! I would be sleeping, but it’s a bit hard when you got these guys playing DotA and it’s getting intense.

Maybe I’ll go sleep for an hour.

It’s not easy

MsDarkky — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 18:48:01 +0000

When I first heard “If you risk nothing, you gain nothing, you are nothing” I thought it was actually quite true, and it made a lot of sense…but now that I look back onto it I have thought now that differs from what I thought before.

The quote is true to an extent, but life isn’t all about risk. You go to school, go to college, get a degree, and be the occupation you want to be, and surly you are something. You help out, volunteer, work underpaid, and you still gain recognition. No matter what you do, you will gain your 5 minutes of fame, whether it’s with a group, or you individually. Who knows, maybe you’ll get your fame twice, or for the rest of your life. But that doesn’t mean you have to risk anything, and risk can be bad.

I thought about the quote and it occurred to me that perhaps risk isn’t the best thing to do. What is you ran in front of a bullet for a friend*? Why, you gain a title of a great person and a great friend, a hero, but take a look at your situation…you risked your life, you are hanging by a withering thread between life and death. Was that risk worth it? Worth your hard work and dedication to the people around you and yourself?

So I think little risks are fine, it’s the big ones that will get you.

* I wanted to make a footnote of this…act. People everywhere say that they would jump in front of a bullet for a friend, but when that time comes…do you really think they would do it? It’s a hard decision, indeed, but think about it. In all honesty, I wish I would have the guts to say that I would do it, but I don’t…and I know I wouldn’t. But so many things revolve around it, ‘How good is this friend?’, ‘How is my life?’, ‘Do I want to throw my succession all away?’, ‘What did my friend do to deserve this?’, ‘Do I deserve this?’. It’s a hard decision, and actually, I’d like to quote a person who is very close to me, it’s along the lines of :
“It’s easy to say you’ll take a bullet for a friend, but the hard part is finding a friend worth doing it for.”

Wake up sleepy head

MsDarkky — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 22:15:18 +0000

Man, Monday was such a waste of a day, I slept till 3 pm, and then decided to sleep 2 hours later only to wake up at 9 pm. I pretty much just slept the WHOLE. DAY. But it was interesting because I then stayed up the next day…and more. I was awake for…30 hours!! Woooo new record! Then I slept for a niceeee 13 hours <3.
Bf and I totally had a guitar jam session…even though he owns me at guitar haha. He was definitely falling for the electric guitar though…YES IT DOES ROCK. Pretty much all I did yesterday…during my whole 30 hours was:

Watch vids on Youtube
Chill with the BF
BRAWL
Play guitar

Mmm, and that’s all. Yeah I didn’t even eat! Okay…maybe twice…in the whole 30 hours…YES I KNOW that’s bad. But I wasn’t hungryyy.

That sleep was great, but I kept wanting to sleep more after I woke up. Haha! I swear, while I was playing brawl at about…1 am, I was falling asleep while playing. It was some funny stuff, eyes would not stay open, I was like, squinting while playing.

I’m am also currently trying to learn to play My Soldier by AJ Raphael on the guitar, and slowly I hope I’ll be able to sing to it

Anyway, I’m off to go relax a bit more.

You got it, you got it bad

MsDarkky — Mon, 24 Mar 2008 07:33:21 +0000

Ugh, spring break is sooo boring and lame so far. I’ve done nothing productive and I haven’t even seen a movie yet! No running, no practicing, nothing. Just sleep, eat, and watch videos on the old friend, my laptop. I don’t know what to do, I tried to go shopping with the mom today…or rather, yesterday…sunday, and it didn’t go well. You guessed right, because it was Easter…nothing was open. Ugh! The time I could have used my parent’s money for clothes, everything was closed. Anyway, mom has been kind of annoying lately with some of the stuff she’s been talking about, but it’s not important. I don’t want to sleep and waste my spring break, but the more I sit here the more I feel like I’m wasting it anyway. My mind is so retarded, I swear.

RANTRANTRANT! Jeebus.

On a side note, I LOVE JABBAWOKEEZ. They already ARE the best dance crew in America. No questions asked. kthxbye.
And I think I will be taking hip hop classes in April I cannot wait!
I think I’ll get back into breaking and popping because today I was wondering to myself ‘I wonder if I can still do that freeze…’ And not only could I do it, but I could change positions of my legs, it was sweeeet.

…It’s 3:32 am, I sleep too late.

Open your eyes and see what’s actually there

MsDarkky — Fri, 21 Mar 2008 19:44:14 +0000

Man, life really likes to take you by the balls and fling you 8 millions miles into the sea doesn’t it?

I fear death because I don’t know what’s going to happen.
I fear the future because I don’t know if I’ll be successful or poor.
I fear anger because we act upon impulse.
I fear ghosts because who knows if they are really there or not.
I fear darkness because so much myth revolves around…or in, rather, the shadows.

I pretty much fear the unknown…but there is one thing that is inevitable and known throughout the world that I fear, and it’s Love.

I fear love because I know at one point, or more, during it’s course, I will get hurt.

Whenever we get hurt by someone we hold so dear to our hearts, we feel the need to get revenge. We feel broken and smashed into pieces that we, as humans, want to smash them down too. But I always wonder…if that is the way to do it? The way to really deal with hurt, pain, and anger. No, I don’t think it is, because you will always get hurt, you will always get pushed around and stepped on, but making that person feel the same way makes you just as bad.

So…
“Say your ‘I love you.’s and ‘I’m sorry.’s today because tomorrow is never promised.”
…And mean it.

Stop and Stare…AT THIS BREAK!

MsDarkky — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 18:09:23 +0000

SPRING BREAK!
Need I say more?
Oh gosh, what a wonderful day it is, all you’ll see on me are smiles! School was easy as pie, watched Bee Movie…I like it No lacrosse practice, first day of SPRING BREAK, and I am proud to say that John and I have been dating for 9 months <3.

Oh what to do, what to do this long…actually, quite short time I have to relax…hmm…

I KNOW WHAT I SHOULD DO…but I don’t know if I want to do it haha.

Run
Stay in shape
Practice Lax
Homework
Study up for Math test
Clean room

Ehh…Here’s what I WANT to do! And I’m pretty sure I will.

Eat
Sleep
Hang out
Paintball
Buy clothes
Watch movies
Go camping
Stay up late
Wake up late

Spring break is gorgeous

It’s been an ~~great~~ amazing 9 months.